TWINKLE TWINKLE

When I started coaching, I gave too many pieces of “constructive feedback” (it’s really criticisms, no matter what we call it). I’d praise the big hit, the good pitch, the diving catch. And would point out better techniques to prevent that swing and a miss, that errant pitch and the dropped ball. And in a game played by kids, there were way many more misses than good plays. That approach was deflating to the players and I could feel them starting to tune me out. Frankly I was getting tired and worn out by coaching in that way, and was feeling that I was that negative coach that I detested when I played. I cared about them and wanted them to improve, but I clearly was not going about it in the best way. I needed to change.

Looking for solutions, I found a better path forward. Everyone likes recognition, and is a little star in their own ways and at their own times. Recognizing for effort and hard work, like esteemed author Dr. Carol Dweck has pointed out, rather than accomplishments, encourages continued growth. Putting that principle into action though can be challenging. What to recognize, how to recognize it, appropriate levels of recognition, fairness in recognition—all questions for you to answer as you parent, coach and teach.

Putting this into practice, I started to make sure that I was recognizing effort and hustle by each player in every single game or practice. I’d make the rounds and recognize legitimate effort. Once looking, it was easy to spot that every player is trying. So the effort had been there, I just hadn’t spotted it or recognized the players for it. There was one more problem - I’d forget to recognize a player here or there. Recognition that will keep her on the path of working hard and hustling. A path that will lead to development and growth. A path filled with successes and opportunities.

So, here’s what I did. During the game or practice, I’d give that player a legitimate compliment on effort, hard work or hustle and I’d write a star on the inside of their baseball hat. This took the recognition from a verbal compliment to a visual pat on the back. Then, I’d ask at the end of day’s activities, did everyone get a star? If I missed anyone, then I’d call them up and recognize them in front of the group. This way, I could keep track and could ensure that everyone got their star for that day - a star that they earned. Also, at the end of the season, they’d have a hat filled with stars showing all of their good work during the season. Not a bad way to reflect on a season.

Let me know if this works for you or if you’ve found another way to recognize your Stars…

Get Gritty!!!